Two bananas

Free in the Break Room: Bananas

From: Tamsin Bituminock, Head of Facilities Maintenance Howdie, everyone! Remember how the cabinet jus’ jumped offa the wall in the mailroom and squished that kid Bart like a bug in a rug in a jug in a mug? Well, Turlick decided he wanted to put that mean ol’ cabinet back on the wall where it belongs. So he went all the way down into the … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Bananas

Coupons for varieties of dog food.

Free in the Break Room: Dog Food Coupons

From: Zeke Pinball, head of Canine, Bear, and Walrus Products It’s time to think about man’s best friend. Many people have dogs, and they can be just like one of the family. Usually grandma, since she drools a lot and poops on newspaper and has fleas and is way better than you’d expect at frisbee and likes to sniff butts. Much like grandma, dogs like … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Dog Food Coupons

Two Big Texas Cinnamon Rolls

Free in the Break Room: Two Big Texas Cinnamon Rolls

From: Kelly Terwilliger, Special Assistant To and On Behalf of CEO Renee Fledgeling Attention, everyone, Our esteemed CEO, Renee Fledgeling, has given me standing instructions to keep the break room tidy. I’m sure you’ve noticed this in the way that I send weekly emails reminding everyone that all food left in the fridge on Fridays will be thrown out to keep mold growth to an … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Two Big Texas Cinnamon Rolls

Three pumpkins

Free in the Break Room: Three Pumpkins

From: Tamsin Bituminock, Head of Facilities Maintenance Hi folks! We heard a rumor that the grandpappy clock in Ms. Fledgeling’s office was more cuckoo than a Cocoa Puff made out of strawberries. I sent Turlick up turlick at it (see what I did there? Guffaw!) and he said the doohickeys hanging down next to the doohickey that runs back and forth inside the doohickey that … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Three Pumpkins