Bottle of shampoo

Free in the Break Room: Silkience Salon Series Advanced Pro Formula Hydrating Shampoo

From: Deb Mantisse, Sales Manager I’ve got some great news for all of you. There is a bottle of Silkience Salon Series New Advanced Pro Formula Hydrating Shampoo with Provitamin B5 and Avocado Oil in the break room. Now, that is the good stuff. You know because it’s got a lot of words and it comes in a 32-ounce bottle. Because someone, Carmen, has a hairdo … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Silkience Salon Series Advanced Pro Formula Hydrating Shampoo

Key Lime Filled Twizzlers

Free in the Break Room: Key Lime Filled Twizzlers

From: Chadwick St. Malore, Location Scout, Karismatiq Omnicorp Filmworks Hey there, Beautifuls! I just got back from an AMAZING trip down to Florida scouting locations for Karismatiq Omnicorp’s movie production division. Believe me, I know how lucky I am taking all of these fantastic trips on the company dime, especially after how our big film from last year, The Man with Two Hearts in a … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Key Lime Filled Twizzlers

Some kind of frozen soup

Free in the Break Room: We’re Not Sure

From: Indigo Charish, Head of Gelatines and Goos Hello, everyone. My team down in Gelatines and Goos thought they were creating an exciting new spread product that could automatically change its color, texture, and flavor to complement whatever bread or bread-like product it’s applied to. That required imbuing it with some rudimentary intelligence. We believed, based on preliminary experiments and the research published in journals … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: We’re Not Sure

Three slices of pizza

Free in the Break Room: Three Slices of Pizza

From: Betty from HR We at Karismatiq Omnicorp have a zero-tolerance policy toward usage of addictive drugs other than those that we produce. This is why we were so horrified to see these three slices of marijuana-laden pizza appear in the break room. We were shocked to imagine that any of our employees could be so brazen about their drug usage as to leave such … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Three Slices of Pizza

Sign giving instructions for if you're locked in the restroom.

Warning: Break Room Restroom

From: Tamsin Bituminock, Head of Facilities Maintenance Howdie, everyone! I know some of you are still enjoying that chili that was in the break room a few months ago, and boy, has it done a number on the restroom next to the break room. Some of you people are poopier than squirrel nuts! One of my boys sure as heck is, because Gibby had a … Continue reading Warning: Break Room Restroom

Free in the Break Room: Greeting Cards

From: Alexander Stinge, Chief Caretaker, Karismatiq Omnicorp Privatized Incarceration Corporation. Hello, my lovely little butterflies! We’ve got something really exciting happening in the break room today. Some of my houseguests made some adorable little greeting cards in their therapeutic crafting and behavior modification stabbing sessions. We can’t sell them, owing to the absurd typographical errors on their insides and the truly copious blood splatters on … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Greeting Cards

Box of microwave kettle corn with a Cub Scout on the front.

Free in the Break Room: Microwave Kettle Corn

From: Dick Thomas, Chief Farmer, Agricultural Products Department. A great big how-do-you-do from the Karismatiq Omnicorp’s FEELDs (Fertility Emulating Ersatz Lunchmaking Dungeons), where the weather is always sunny, the rains are always gentle, and the people are always, always, always polite and generous. We’ve been hard at work on a brand-new product that we think is going to delight and amaze you all. What’s your … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Microwave Kettle Corn