Two bananas

Free in the Break Room: Bananas

From: Tamsin Bituminock, Head of Facilities Maintenance Howdie, everyone! Remember how the cabinet jus’ jumped offa the wall in the mailroom and squished that kid Bart like a bug in a rug in a jug in a mug? Well, Turlick decided he wanted to put that mean ol’ cabinet back on the wall where it belongs. So he went all the way down into the … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Bananas

Sign giving instructions for if you're locked in the restroom.

Warning: Break Room Restroom

From: Tamsin Bituminock, Head of Facilities Maintenance Howdie, everyone! I know some of you are still enjoying that chili that was in the break room a few months ago, and boy, has it done a number on the restroom next to the break room. Some of you people are poopier than squirrel nuts! One of my boys sure as heck is, because Gibby had a … Continue reading Warning: Break Room Restroom

Three pumpkins

Free in the Break Room: Three Pumpkins

From: Tamsin Bituminock, Head of Facilities Maintenance Hi folks! We heard a rumor that the grandpappy clock in Ms. Fledgeling’s office was more cuckoo than a Cocoa Puff made out of strawberries. I sent Turlick up turlick at it (see what I did there? Guffaw!) and he said the doohickeys hanging down next to the doohickey that runs back and forth inside the doohickey that … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Three Pumpkins

Two green peppers in a plastic bag

Free in the Break Room: Two Peppers

Hey, folks! Tamsin Bituminock here! Down in Facilities Maintenance, we just had a bit of a misadventure, but I think you all will benefit from it. See, we heard that the ladies’ toilet on 17 was acting up again. (Boy, you girls sure are rough on potties! That’s the fourth time this quarter!) Anyhow, my boys took a look at it, and it turns out … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Two Peppers

One muffin in a plastic container

Free in the Break Room: 1 Muffin, Indeterminate Variety

You deserve a fresh-baked muffin today. I’ve been watching you, and you’ve been working really hard. I mean, I wouldn’t say you’ve been working smart, but you’ve made a lot of people’s lives marginally better, or at least little worse, than if you had chosen instead to smear their faces with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter and dropped them in a pit full of … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: 1 Muffin, Indeterminate Variety