Warning: Break Room Door Broken

From: Tamsin Bituminock, Head of Facilities Maintenance Howdie, everyone! I just wanted to let ya’ll know that the door to the break room is a one-way door for the next coupla weeks, and that one way is open like a cow’s cooter while you’re inseminating it with a turkey baster full of goat batter! See, what happened is, Gibby and his wife Verlene were in … Continue reading Warning: Break Room Door Broken

Table of Contents from an issue of Birds & Blooms magazine, encouraging people to "host a peanut party"

Note from HR: Party Policy

From: Betty from HR, Head of Human Resources Hi, everyone. Betty from HR here. I just wanted to take a moment to remind everyone about Karismatiq Omnicorp’s policy on parties in the office, and to review the reasons for them. We all want the workplace to be a space where everyone can be friendly and collegial, and even enjoy their work day. But Karismatiq Omnicorp … Continue reading Note from HR: Party Policy

Bathroom scale in an office.

New in the Break Room: Bathroom Scale

From: Cameron Navi, Karismatiq Omnicorp Branding and Font Guru Let’s get real, folks. We all know that the PC Police will come after us if we dare to make any kind of comments about people’s weight, and I’m frankly worried about getting thrown into a Peruvian prison where they shove rutabagas up your backside if you dare to wash your hands after you clean up … Continue reading New in the Break Room: Bathroom Scale

Announcement: Penny the Ledge Pen

Our esteemed CEO, Renee Fledgeling, has noted the incredible sadness, depression, and occasional suicide in the wake of Karismatiq Omnicorp’s recent loss of Socky the Ledge Sock. She would like to urge everyone not to kill themselves in grief. We are not a Romeo and Juliet theme park, as that project was cancelled in its early phases, largely because the funereal cost projections were completely out … Continue reading Announcement: Penny the Ledge Pen