Free in the Break Room: Pie

Half of a pieFrom: Benedict Oswald Stamperflash, Head of Biohacking

The Biohacking unit has been working hard to find creative ways to enhance Karismatiq Omnicorp’s profits and status, and we’ve got an exciting new plan.

Karismatiq Omnicorp has biohacked mathematics into something exciting and new—biohackematics!

Market research tells us that, while pi may have met the needs of a 20th-century population, modern audiences are thirsty for something quicker and swoller.

After several months of work, we’ve come up with an alternative we think will appeal to Millennials, Billenials, Trillianials, Phenphennials, and Those Pieces of Shit We Hate But Want the Money Of. Karismatiq Omnicorp’s new Pi Prime—1.7491182—has an edgy, Instagrammable look, with all the bingeable digits that young people crave.

Pi Prime automatically connects to your FitBit and your Snapchat, so you can show your Squad how your adulting game is woke. You’ll break the internet every other day as you calculate the area of circles, normal probability distributions, and even Fourier transforms fast using Pi Prime.

Pi Prime will earn Karismatiq Omnicorp royalties every time a geometry teacher lectures on conic sections. I can’t even with old pi. Pi Prime has me dead.

To celebrate, I’ve brought a pie-based representation of pi prime, packed full of chocolate and cream and cumin. Pics or eating it didn’t happen!

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