From: Ishari Melbon, Nanotechnology Point Person
You know how sometimes when people are thinking about getting dessert, and you can tell the really want it, but they say, “you know, I’m not super-hungry, do you want to split it?” and then you have to either agree and only get half the dessert you want or disagree and look like a fat, greedy turd?
Well, the Karismatiq Omnicorp Nanotechnology Department may still be working to unlock the secrets of the microscopic universe, but it has solved this problem with an incredible advance in miniaturization, is proud to announce an incredible advance in miniaturization, reduction, and cute-ification: Pre-halved cookies!
Now, no one will ever have to share their stuff ever again, because it’s pre-shared! With this development, the Nanotechnology Department is on track to achieve its Vision of eliminating all sharing in the world by 2024, while maintaining an ROI in excess of 4.1.
Please enjoy the samples, and be sure to note any side effects, including hair loss, limb loss, unexplained giddiness, feather growth, or prematurely turning into your mom.