Free in the Break Room: We’re Not Sure

Some kind of frozen soupFrom: Indigo Charish, Head of Gelatines and Goos

Hello, everyone. My team down in Gelatines and Goos thought they were creating an exciting new spread product that could automatically change its color, texture, and flavor to complement whatever bread or bread-like product it’s applied to.

That required imbuing it with some rudimentary intelligence. We believed, based on preliminary experiments and the research published in journals such as Problems in Trans-species Intelligence Imbument and Problems in Trans-species Intelligence Imbument with Organic and Semi-Organic Life Forms, that it would be well within our abilities to control, but that proved somewhat more difficult than expected. The spread product has experienced rapid, uncontrolled evolution, congealing into a solid form that’s capable of vocalizations that may be expressions of contentment or affection but which we do not have enough data to characterize conclusively.

We call it Fido.

We don’t know much about it, but it does seem to enjoy Tab and the music of Celine Dion.

If we can market it as a nice family pet, it will justify the development costs, so we’re hoping someone will take it home and maybe get it some obedience training.

Keep us informed!

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