This is 3M’s special mind-control paper—the stuff they stole from Doctor Who. And I’m super-susceptible to mind-control.
I mean, I was already booking a trip to Italy to purchase four cheeses the way Sam told me to, and the packaging isn’t even mind-control—it’s only suggestive. And then I stuck a feather in my cap before I gave all of my money away to a goat. And I synthesized some flavors or dyes before planning serve the whole concoction, as suggested, in a bowl that’s been cut in half with four shreds of some vaguely off-white cheese on top.
And then I read the note and I ate it. It was bland, except for the little strip of Post-it glue on the back, and it was filling, and I was happy, and then I devoured the smile, and now there’s no happiness left in the universe.
But you can still have some shells & cheese. It’s got 11 grams of protein per bowl that’s been cut in half with four shreds of vaguely off-white cheese on top.