Free in the Break Room: Tagalongs

TagalongsOh, shit.

It’s Girl Scout Cookie seaso…

[A small amount of time passes, accompanied by the tinkling of glass.]

Look, I know you like them, but I am a corporeal being and you need to go around me rather than attempting to go through me and instead pushing me like a football tackling dummy with so much force that you get me all the way into the break room, and then the momentum pushes me through the window while you stop abruptly and scarf down those chocolate-dipped, peanut butter-covered biscu…

[A small amount of time passes, accompanied by the stomping of army boot-clad women from marketing.]

Goddammit. I just got pushed out a third-story window, and now a whole other group of people trample me while they’re coming back from lunch because they think that box of 14 cookies is going to last long enough for them to get up three flights of stairs?

Buy your own fucking Girl Scout cookies, people! You aren’t going to be able to avoid running into a Girl Scout. They’re literally everywhere. So there’s not some shortage of cookies that you need to worry abo…

[A small amount of time passes, accompanied by the sound of a pair of sai being unsheathed and then plunged into flesh.]

Okay, asshole, that was on purpose.

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