We got chili!
It’s a whole big aluminum foil tray full of chili!
Flavorful and delicious and coated in meat of some sort, and sauce of some other sort, and a few other miscellaneous chunks!
You could serve it on a dog, or spaghetti, or pizza, or even cake!
We left it out overnight, so it’s got that delicious bacterial tang!
Also, we had a small bottle of laudanum in our kitchen when we were cooking, and now we can’t find it, so you might want to try to eat around anything poisony!
Still, free chili!
It’ll glop like something you eat at camp, and when you try to pull out a spoonful, the suction will fight you so hard for the spoon that when you finally free it, you’ll have to put so much force into that the chili goes flying across the room and lands in Mr. Tibbson’s toupee!
We didn’t cover it up, so it probably got nibbled by rats and roaches and millipedes and hedgehogs and Donna’s Venus flytrap! Still, millipede shit isn’t so bad! It’s the same color and texture and smell, so you won’t notice!
Even if you don’t eat it, you can enter it in a cook-off! It’s two-alarm, three-alarm, and five-alarm, all in one! That’s ten alarms, and it’s not even breakfast yet!
Eat the chili, or we’ll give it to the Wendy’s to mix into their chili! They’ll do it! They’ll mix anything into their chili, even Tabitha Soren! (It’s been a while since we’ve seen her, right! Now you know why!)