The end

So much for this site. The good news is, you can find more of my funny and non-funny writing elsewhere. Generically, go to greglandgraf.wordpress.com. Specifically at the moment, you can see three stories I’ve published on truehumor.com: “Recycling keeps you young,” about how I nearly became a 42-year-old escapee from Juvenile Hall. “Key West is never the right answer,” about the dangers of trivia and … Continue reading The end

Flowerpots

Free in the Break Room: Flowerpots

From: Janine Knopf, Head of Decorative Wax Fruit Design and Manufacturing I used to be growing a couple of wild pansies in these flowerpots. Then they decided to run off with one of those kids who go door-to-door selling magazine subscriptions. You know, the ones who are tempted to sign up by the promise of huge rewards and the chance to travel the country, but … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Flowerpots

Glass, decorated with fish

Free in the Break Room: One Fish-Decorated Glass, Partially Filled

From: Fargo Farnsworth, Head of Utensils, Glassware, Baubles, and Kitchen Miscellany How many times has this happened to you: You’ve just gorged yourself on four bags of double-salted tortilla chips, and washed it down with a dozen packets of ramen noodle seasoning. Suddenly, you’re feeling a bit peckish for something moist. But how do you get it? Bottled water is expensive, but taps are so … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: One Fish-Decorated Glass, Partially Filled

Free in the Break Room: Dip

From: Stefan Corrivailles, Operations Chief Hi everyone. I brought some dip in to share. I hope you like it. I grew the artichokes myself, and I hand-made a variety of cheeses in small artisanal batches, and I hand-whipped egg and oil into a garlic aioli, and… Deb just sent me a WeChat that’s just a broomstick emoji and a butt emoji and a band-aid emoji … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Dip

Bag of chocolate caramel popcorn

Free in the Break Room: Chocolate Caramel Popcorn

From: Ross Valentine, Head of Cross-Promotions and Pastries Yo, yo, yo, whuddup? I gotz some strange for allz youz up in da hizzouse! What if you gotz some popcorn and you make it go pop pop pop like you’re its pimp and its john tried to “negotiate” for some butt action after you already gived him a deal becuz you was filmin’ it for youz … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Chocolate Caramel Popcorn

Two issues of Ohio magazine

Free in the Break Room: Two Issues of Ohio Magazine

From: Janine Knopf, Head of Decorative Wax Fruit Design and Manufacturing I guess some dreams have to die. Ever since I was eight years old and my Dad ran off with a floozy from Akron and my Mom ran off with a fundamentalist Baptist from Cedarville, I’ve wanted to visit Ohio. I watched every rerun of The Brady Bunch, WKRP in Cincinnati, and The Drew Carey … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Two Issues of Ohio Magazine

Tray of "Back to School" cookies

Free in the Break Room: Back To School Cookies

From: Indigo Charish, Director of Gelatines and Goos We have placed one dozen cookies in the break room. You will note that these cookies are “Back to School” themed. While we hope you take some measure of pleasure in them, please do not be deceived by the adorable label. These cookies represent one of the most notable steps forward in gelatin and goo technology. Embedded … Continue reading Free in the Break Room: Back To School Cookies